Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
