Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
