I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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