Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
