No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
