I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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