she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
