There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
