is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
