Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
