Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
