i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
