you would pick up someone in the library
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
