hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
