Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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