I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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