So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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