I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
