He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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