Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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