I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
