i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
