dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
