you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
