fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
