You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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