Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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