There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
