I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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