chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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