How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
