i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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