I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
