$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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