You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
