I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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