Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.

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(917): View more from New York City

Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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(928): View more from Arizona

She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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(315): View more from New York

i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor

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(503): View more from Oregon

Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance

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