i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
