I heard we made out
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
