She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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