I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
