I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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