Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
