I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
