Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
