I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
