so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
