my mouth tastes like poor choices
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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