The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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