I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The air was thick with penises
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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