"it" just moved
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
