A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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