i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
