Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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