I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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