Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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