I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
