Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
