Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize