You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I FOUND THE LEGS
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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