dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
