so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
