Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
