Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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