Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
