listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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