Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
