it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Less talking, more tequila
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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