when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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