I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize