I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize