I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
