I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
